That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
