You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
