I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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