please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
