So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
