two words: eviction party
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
