Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
