Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
