Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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