weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
