she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
