I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
