so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
