i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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