Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
