She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
