Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
