Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
