Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
