Jerry, you need to find god
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
