Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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