Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
