dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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