I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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