i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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