I want to stick my p in your. b.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
