Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
