I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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