Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
