Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were trust falling into bushes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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