im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
