Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
