yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
