Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
