but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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