Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
