thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
