just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
