I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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