theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
