i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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