And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
