I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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