Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
