Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
