mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
