some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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