Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
