he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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