after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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