is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
