my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
