Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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