so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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